i remember the moment when my father said a mouthful to his friends like a million times about my mother. she was a teacher, still young but left the job because my father urged her to do so not long after the marriage.
"i am the only one who will work and fulfill our needs, she just needs to take care of the house and our kids. i only ask her one thing, they must be able to read and write by the time they had gone to elementary school."
and she made it. no wonder he becomes so proud.
and i will always remember, she, along with her strong motherhood is also the one who helps build our house. you may need to know that my father didn't have so much money to pay labours, so most of the tasks were done by ourselves (excluded me, i was in Malang). she mixed and stirred cement, installed ceramic tiles, printed banners and covers of report card - her side job - and what i mean is, she is not the type of woman who will just sit beside her husband and smile, make him a cup of coffee and watch him work. she lends a hand, and out of her feminine side she is capable of doing anything needed. she is strong, you know, besides all the things abovementioned she still does most of household chores.. which makes me amazed.
i do not wish to be a merely housewife - she also doesn't want me to, but yes, being raised by a mother like her teaches me about what a good woman is made of.
happy mother's day everyone.
When you wake up in the mornin' baby look inside your mirror
You know I won't be next to you. You know I won't be near
I'd just be curious to know if you can see yourself as clear
as someone who has had you on his mind
(Mama, You Been On My Mind - Jeff Buckley)
I WAS A TEENAGE ANARCHIST
by AGAINST ME!
I was a teenage anarchist
Looking for a revolution
I had the style, I had the ambition
Read all the authors
I knew the right slogans
There was no war but the class war
I was ready to set the world on fire
I was a teenage anarchist
Looking for a revolution
Do you remember when you were young
And you wanted to set the world on fire
Do you remember when you were young
And you wanted to set the world on fire
I was a teenage anarchist
But the politics were too convenient
In the depths of their humanity
All I saw was bloodless ideology
With freedom as their doctrine
Guess who was the new authority
I was a teenage anarchist
But the politics were too convenient
Do you remember when you were young
And you wanted to set the world on fire
Do you remember when you were young
And you wanted to set the world on fire
When you were young
And you wanted to set the world on fire
I was a teenage anarchist
But then the scene got too rigid
It was mob mentality
They set their rifle sights on me
Narrow visions of autonomy
You want me to surrender my identity
I was a teenage anarchist
The revolution was lie
Do you remember when you were young
And you wanted to set the world on fire
Do you remember when you were young
And you wanted to set the world on fire
When you were young
And you wanted to set the world the fire
When you were young
And you wanted to set the world the fire
I was a teenage anarchist
I was a teenage anarchist
I was a teenage anarchist
I was a teenage anarchist
i'm working for Government's ministry.. a civil servant for sure and every end of year i'll be busier than i've ever been. that could be one out of many reasons i can give to answer why my blog has been this way, no longer updated. of course the reason number 1 is i have no idea what to write, life's been boring lately.. piles of works, papers, hoahm.
sometimes when i had time to think over my old days, i'll ask the same damn question.. what would i be if i didn't choose the path I chose? what would i pursue since i didn't really have any skills to be proud of? i know it just doesn't matter in the end, but lately, when i have to work on a paper i tend to arrange playlists to boost my mood, and that's when this video comes up playing and reminds me of my youth.
I Was A Teenage Anarchist by Against Me!, pretty much as the lyrics abovementioned, tells you about how your life has changed, from who you used to be to who you are now. it's like a nostalgic recall. some people said it was about Tom Gabel (the frontman)'s relationship with his music.. if you really listened to his previous materials, you'll recognize how significant the changes are. now they said he has abandoned his punk rock and indie roots ever since he signed to major label - ah, major label, why do they have to bother it so much? - I listen to Against Me! before they were big and I think their major album isn't that bad, yeah they've changed and maybe they want to broaden the horizons. it hurts seeing comments from those "fuck you! now you are consumers, not revolutionaries!"
but really, changes aren't all meant for something bad. in fact, that's the signal that you are growing up. i mean, you really think you are exactly the same person you were 10 years ago? are you sure you really want to start or be a part of revolution, or you're just a poser whose brain was fed by scenes, left-political opinions, issues, and conspiracy theories?
we are growing up. we have done a lot of things, we have learnt new ideologies, ideas, met a lot of people, and we are getting older, wiser, and smarter. I was familiar with stuffs like anti flag, the clash, against me, reading socialism zines, they taught me about capitalism, injustice, corrupted nations, and really.. have i told you for whom i am working for? well, i know it's contradictory listening to Anti-Flag's One Trillion Dollars when you are doing fiscal policies.. but really, why regret for being who you are right now? move on, it's not like the world has stopped and you can do nothing about it.
